smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
