Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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