We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
