She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
