So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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