our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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