he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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