i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
