Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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