i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
