It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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