I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
