Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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