Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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