Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
