Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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