Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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