I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So many bounce houses so little time
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
