I just cut my nipple shaving
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
