Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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