Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is wine microwaveable?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize