I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
