plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
