exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize