also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
