You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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