Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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