I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
