I bet he comes in French.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
