I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
