im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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