4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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