grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
