i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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