A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Enjoy the penises
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
