giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
