i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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