I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
