Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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