At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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