while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize