My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
