Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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