Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
