I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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