It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
