Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize