I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
