you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
