Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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