In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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