I hate all girls vehemently.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
