I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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