matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
