my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
