I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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