We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize