I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
