I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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