Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I have fence marks all over my body
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
