batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I smell like Dick and happiness
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
