Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
