put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
