I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
