just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
