And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
