alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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