at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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