you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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