man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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