I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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