I just saw a hot homeless man
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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